-Monday, July 6, 2009-Monday, July 06, 2009 Y
"Do you know what's worth fighting for, when it's not worth dying for.."
I so know what's worth fighting for, even i know so well it's not worth dying for. Funny, the feelings i had to sacrifice for what i thought was worth it. But why must all this happen again and again? Is my life just fake? Is my heart made of rubber? Are my feelings just a piece of paper youcan take and crush it? Am i just a waste of space in this world? These are the things i asked myself ove and over. But still i get no answers..
"Does it take your breath away, and you feel yourself suffocating.."
You took my breath away. The times we had. The moments i thought was perfect. It just took away all the air in me and strangled me. Suffocating is the right word. Somehow smetimes i just wished i could die. Because dying seems so much easier than living. Its just so hard to give it all up..
"Does the pain weigh out the pride,
and you look for a place to hide
did someone break you heart inside,
you're in ruins.."
The pain i had to keep after what people have told me really hurts me deep inside. The pride i had once falls right down the drain. I want to find a place to hide. To be by myself. But i just cant bcause when i'm alone, your face starts to appear in my mind. Which made it more harder to forget.
"When you're at the end of the road,
and you lost all sense of control,
and your thoughts have taken their toll,
when your mind breaks the spirit of your soul.."
I have nowhere to go now. And i just cant do anything right anymore. Everything seems to be wrong for me. My mind is in a twirl. Thinking of you and him really drives me crazy. Jelousy? More like i'm losing my mind. Call me crazy. All these just brought down my morale. I just cant take it any longer..
"Your faith walks on a broken glass,
and the hangover does'nt pass,
nothing's ever built to last,
you're in ruins.."
The hopes i had all falls into pieces. Like walking on a broken glass, i fall, first for you, next to sadness. Things i do to keep me occupied are not enough to make me forget. I know nothing is built to last, but the time to wait until it fades is just gonna take too long. I cannot wait that long or i'll go crazy.
"When it's time to live and let die,
and you cant get another try,
something inside this heart has died.."
I dunno when the time when i let go will come, but i know when that time comes everything i ever dreamed of will go too. And by that time too i wont take another chance even when i'm given one. Because the feelings inside will fade and eventually die. I hate to see that time come..
Best night i ever had.
The journey home that night was the most bautiful night i ever had with you. You slept with your head near my lap, my hands around your neck, and you held my hands tight. I wished the time frozed so i could hold your hands forever. Why must things turn out this way? I feel so broken..
(captions taken from 21 guns from Greenday)
Peace out from SouL
Labels: I Miss You
